Obsessions, let’s talk about obsessions.
There are people who are obsessed with art, with justice, with football etc.
But I, I have an obsession to be a part of someone else’s life.
I watch shows and read novels and get
obsessed with them. Once I start I can’t stop. This is because I love to watch
these people’s lives, understand them and live with them. When all the episodes
and seasons and chapters and sequels end, I feel empty. It is as if someone has
died or been ripped away from my soul because I no longer know what is
happening in their lives. Shows and novels are fiction, but in reality as well
I like to be a part of others lives. Not in a normal ‘I know them’ way, rather
I like to understand them, live their lives and dreams with them. I like to be next
to them when all their dreams come true. The smile on their face is enough to
light up mine. This trait of my personality, I believe, I get from my mother
who by far is the kindest person I know and will ever know.
But when I have no shows, no novels and
no people to dig deep into, I am truly empty and alone. It is then when I am
left with myself, this is when I have absolutely no clue about what to do. My
obsession is my escape from myself. I don’t have the strength to understand
myself, follow my dreams or live my dreams. I fear myself and unraveling the
darkest parts of myself. Running away from this fear, I find myself in the arms
of others. In them I try to find the peace that I know I won’t find in them…
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